&
Perfect Trust ...
Friendship ....
Magick
Months ago I ran an article that was called "What Is A Friend?", because someone asked me a very important question. Again this person asked me some very important questions. I'll again refer to this person as "Q" because I want to protect this persons trust in me. I also asked for permission to write about this without giving out the details in the hopes of helping others that have like situations. The question this time was "Taking into considerations the problem I had in the truthful evaluation on how to determine if a person is your friend or not and how does this relate to 'Perfect Love and Perfect Trust... Friendship... Magick'"?
Again I sat there and looked at "Q" and contemplated this very complicated question. I must state again at this time I don't consider myself anyone special just someone who's made a habit of studying human nature and found that it's come up wanting sometimes.
First of all it's not so simple, so I asked "Q" are you wanting an answer based on the entire Pagan community or in regards to a particular Solitaire, or Covener? "Q" answered, "No it would have to be the entire Pagan community because it's supposed to be the same for all, isn't it?" "Were all supposed to be bound by honor, morales, and law abiding aren't we"? I replied, "Yes, BUT that depends on an individuals conception of what honor, morales, and law abiding are!"
Well let me tell you "Q" has never asked simple questions and probably never will but in any event I again posed some questions to "Q's" very complicated one in regards to magick and friendship! With answers of Yes, No or Maybe?
If you were being physically and or magickally assaulted would this person jeopardize their own life to save yours?
If you told this person something in private, secrets that were asked not to be repeated whether they be of a personal and or magickal nature, would they repeat them?
If you can laugh with them in or outside of a circle even if they are a certified joker, can you count on them inside of the circle and still be their friend?
If you can fight with them (All humans fight to some degree no matter how hard they try not too!) and afterwards still really count on them in a clinch as a fellow practitioner and friend?
If you can argue or discuss politics, religion, or knowledge with them and agree to disagree, are you still able to count on them inside or outside of the circle and still be your friend?
If you can cry on their shoulder and share your sorrows with them and have them help you through a crises magickal or otherwise. Are they still your friend?
If you can honor, respect this persons word, integrity, knowledge, ability in or outside of a circle and still be your friend?
If you can honor this persons morale and or law abiding integrity inside or outside of a circle and still be your friend?
If this persons does not share their knowledge with you for whatever reason (even if it's not given) outside of a circle do you still respect their right to do so and still call them your friend?
We could continue on with the what if's or supposes to "Q's" really complicated question and I'm sure you out there reading this could probably come up with a few more but the truth of the matter is how to dissect a multifacetted question! One is love, honor, trust, respect of a friend (none participant) outside of a circle. The second love, honor, trust, respect inside of the circle (especially a joint participation one)!
When you take the few generalized "If's" and apply them to people who you think to be your friends outside of a circle and as working friends inside of a circle, how do they stack up to them? Let's get down to the brass tacks of this. Also keeping in mind that people do work as individuals or sometimes in a group, or all the time in a group!
I really don't expect a friend to lay down their life for me, but I could wish that it was so and I don't really expect someone to be laughing and tolerant if I was constantly pulling jokes. However I would expect to be able to trust this person explicity in a working circle!
I however do expect someone as a friend to keep (If I have any!) my personal secrets to themselves, and especially so if I am imparting to them any other knowledge. If you can't trust them with the personal side of your life how can you expect to trust them with the belief/magickal working side of your life!
If you've answered the questions honestly and your friend came up "Yes" all the way, then what a fantastic friend you have.
If you've answered maybe on at least half and the rest yes, then give them an even chance that maybe they are your friend personally. But bear in mind the one about keeping their mouths SHUT if you don't want your lshared knowledge bandied about.
If you've answered no on half or more honestly, then their not really your friend personally or as a working partner. If your evaluation is honest could I please know their name so I can stay away from them because their usually trouble makers, self-centered, egotistical control freaks, mental cases or downright nasty people who justify everything they do by blaming someone else for their own actions.
"Q's" life has really been full of adventure. "Q" is smart, gifted and has had the usual up and down life experiences, that can't always be learned in a class room situation. But most importantly "Q's" learned that not every one walking a path always lives up to personal expectations or each others code's of honor! Just as I, and others had to learn to personally make up our own minds about any situation.
If you come across someone who talks a good talk remember this when it comes to the second side of your life! "When seeking knowledge, knowledge is power, but power without wisdom is nothing but an egotistical trip and worth nothing in the exchange except to the one with the ego trip, their own self gratification!"
Saying that one has honor or trying to convince others that they have honor is nothing but spouting platitudes, for actions speak louder than all the words in the world. Time has no linear relevance in these matters, time is the great dissembler because the truth of any matter always unfolds and becomes known.
Were all under scruitingy because of who and what we believe in, not only to the outside world but internally within a very large Pagan community and in general we all believe that we have high morale standards and are supposed to follow the law's of land even though we might not practice in the same way.
In the end result it doesn't matter if one is a Solitaire, Covener for when the true problem is learning who is and is not your friend and whether they have honor, and you can trust them.
Lastly but not the least if someone does not meet up to your personal code or the majorities code's, and theres any form of self doubt, anger, jealously or unethical magickal practices that you as an individual or the majority are aginst! It then abrogates the "Law's"!
"How can anyone honestly walk into any circle and claim "Perfect Love and Perfect Trust"! If you do your making excuses for these actions and dishonoring your own and or the groups codes of honor by doing these activities especially if they're against the laws of the land.
In conclusion when someone tells you that they are a practitioner and they are bound by the law of "Harm None" its not just mouthing word's and jumping into a circle, for use only during circle, but a practice that's carried throughout your daily life and actions forever. It's a good law because it makes you think before reacting.
It's never easy to learn life's lessons for any of us, but it is a very beautiful thing to find someone who you can trust with all that is you!
